Skip to content
May 14, 2013 / Karen R Adams

melancholy baby

me 2005I’ve been feeling… sad.  I’m not entirely sure why, but I’ve just been sitting with it for a change, because it feels right to do so.

It’s not depression, though it does feel like doing anything except being with it would take some effort.

I could come up with lots of reasons for feeling this way, yet any that float across my mind don’t really matter enough or resonate enough to hold my attention for long.

Perhaps it’s a form of disconnect, a kind of gentle vacation to the place in me that knows my life in this form is finite, and – while there is a rightness to that – I know that some time I will have to come in from play in this wonderful world and go home.

But that’s not it either, that thought is too heavy for what I feel.  My sadness feels much lighter, though that seems an odd description.

Melancholy was once thought to be ‘sober thought’, which I like a lot.  It was seen as gloomy, a self-indulgent pensiveness, which had to be a judgement from others on the person who was feeling that way.  I wonder what happens when we allow ourselves to just be in these uncomfortable places for as long as they last, without the fear that they will last forever.

The truth is, where I am right now is pure feeling.  Thought just gets in the way, mucks things up, and could easily tip me over into something deeper and more painful.  Boy there’s a thing to remember.

I realized this morning that I was choosing to feel this way instead of resisting it.  It helps that I know it won’t last forever, and that I can begin to move out of it any time I want.   It’s just pure feeling.  It’s a stillness within me, and I learned long ago that the stillness is really Stillness, if you get what I mean.

Just recognizing that I choose instead of resist makes it all begin to move, very gently, like floating on a slow-moving river.

There is no happy ending to this blog, no ‘pull your socks up, Karen, and get on with changing your mood’.  That’s ok, just as the feelings are ok, because I know they are transient and mine.

Glastonbury Tor in the background of a flooded field


Leave a Comment
  1. Vickie Hutchinson / May 15 2013 12:58 pm

    Wise woman…………………..

  2. warlege / May 15 2013 6:58 pm

    I hope you are feeling better today, Karen. I feel better having seen you.


  1. optimizing autumn | for the joy of it

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Andrew Miles, DOM & Xuelan Qiu, PhD

The Renaissance of Chinese Medicine

Life After War

Healing, Hope & Guidance for the Warrior's Spirit

Northcity Solutions

karen adams acupuncture

Jennie kristel's Blog

This blog is about my work and my art. I work as an artist and expressive arts therapist. For over the last 14 years I have worked in South East Asia, and most recently in Kenya and Egypt helping social activists, counselors, and artists develop ways in which to engage with those who experience and encounter issues of poverty and related social issues, using the expressive arts and therapy and Playback Theatre.

Isabel Parlett

karen adams acupuncture

Heart of Business

karen adams acupuncture

Healthy Juicing

karen adams acupuncture

%d bloggers like this: